Gray Matter Kimmie

For our lesson today, class, we shall turn to the chapter of one of the stranger bands in the Lull roster, the Dead Penguin Orchestra.

The Dead Penguin Orchestra was composed entirely of me. It began as an “opening act” for the Amish Playboys, probably at a Butterfly Lounge show. The first and for a while only song, which I remember fondly, was called “Fortississimo” which I think means “as loud as possible” in music terms. At least that’s what it was supposed to mean. It consisted of me blowing a single note on a harmonica, screaming at the top of my lungs for as long as three breaths of air would permit (which it turns out is about seventy seconds or so) and blowing another note on the harmonica. I get the feeling that John Cage would neither eat his heart out nor roll over in his grave at it. Wait, is he alive or dead?

Anway, it was shortly followed by others, notably “Mr. Coffee,” in which a bag of the stuff pleads to be purchased at a grocery store or something.

It’s kind of (more) embarrassing to listen to now, but it was a big hit at the Lounge a few times. Oh yeah, importantly, after “Fortississimo” I borrowed my brother’s cheap-ass ukulele for performances. I never learned how to play a single chord on it during the… well, I would say life of the Dead Penguin Orchestra, but can you ever really disband a one man band? It makes it sound like I’m dead.

The ukulele was eventually destroyed in a freak AM-PM accident in our freshman year of college, where I tripped and spun or something. I actually can’t remember exactly how it happened, but I threw quite the tragic fit. It was funny.

When I was 17 the Amish Playboys helped me record a little EP, “Tales from the Baby Grinder,” which compiled about twelve? or so songs, in 17 minutes. All recorded in about an hour and a half so, as I recall. It certainly sounds like it.