Gray Matter Kimmie

Hey gang, I invented me one of them newfangled concepts. Hang on while I explains it:

So lately I’ve been practicing with this band the Broken Hearts, which is nice, because for once I’m in a band I didn’t have any hand in creating and am thus freed from the insidious pressure of being the evil mastermind, and also because I’m playing the bass, which is something I don’t normally do, although being of course a jerk-of-all-trades, I can. Unh!

Anyway, mi querida esposa Bethany mentioned that all the music was freaking our new rats out (which she named “Emerson” and “Thoreau,” to which I can only say “yeesh”.) She also related a story about her friend’s hamster suffering a heart attack and dying from prolonged exposure to really loud music, which I found strange, ‘cuz like I said:

“I can see being scared by loud noises, but you would think that when there was no corresponding threat after a while, you would shrug it off.”

“Yeah, but we have rational minds.”

I thought about it for a bit and then said, “Sometimes I get annoyed at animals for not being logical.”

Bethany said, “Aw, just like Landon. You guys are a lot alike, huh?” Because Landon, notoriously, hates cats for their inability to speak English.

“Yeah,” I said. “We both have contempt for all lesser beings.”

And, being put in mind of Landon, I thought of his concept and corresponding tattoo, “Xiphat,” which means “Zest for all things.” And I came up with my own snazzy new word, which is, of course:

KaFalb.

Contempt for all lesser beings.

Put that in your dissertation and smoke it.