Gray Matter Kimmie

Of all the bands in the Lull stable (hey, I mean, we DO eat out of feed-bags and poop on the ground) I think that none have captured the spirit of sheer, flippant, radiant, corrosive and annoying joy quite so much as the Perpetual Elvis Machine, a group composed of moi and moi’s dear compatriot, Jake Fiolek.

In 1999 I first met Jake in a 12th grade psychology class that I was taking with him, along with Landon and Garrett, of Amish Playboys fame. Afterwards we would always walk towards our next classes together, and one fine spring (I think) day I brought a harmonica and Jake brought some weird “Mega Mouth” thing, which we would later refer to as the cacophone, and we did some serious minstreling. Actually, not really, but it was fun, and we eventually decided to start playing around the school to see if we couldn’t get some spare change. We played on the steps of the theater, in the quad and in the school cafeteria (where I accidentally kicked off a shoe, landing it above the door, and had help in retrieving it from, of all people, the fucking principal, who seemed, I’d say, patronizingly amused.) We never got much change, although we had a sign and everything (”Change, Please”) - but goddammit it was fun. At first we were calling ourselves Change, Please, after the sign, but there was a better name awaiting us.

The class that Jake and I went to after psychology was English, taught by a teacher who Jake liked and I regarded as insufferably pretentious (the feeling was mutual.) She had a clock, one of those cheesy Elvis ones with swaying legs, or, as I dubbed it, the Perpetual Elvis Machine. Jake said that if he ever started a band, he’d want to use that as the name. So…

Before long we’d worked out a few songs, although I don’t believe they had any set music. Among them was “Lactivorous Orchiocele” which I think is how you would say a milk-eating testicular tumor in nerd, I mean, medical terminology, for which we made a bitchin’ music video - actually, I think we might have made the song for the video, since it was for credit in a Video Productions class.

We also played in grocery store parking lots, which was fun. Never got a lot of money, for reasons known only to the gods.

Particularly emblematic shows I can think of include the time we played in Casey Gallagher’s empty pool, in which guest keyboardist Robert Thombley did a scorching weed-whacker solo, as well as the infamous Battle of th Bands gig at our high school. They had a rather ridiculous system of determining who won it, which was that everyone put quarters in the jar of the band they liked best. Bad enough, but worse is that they let people start dumping quarters after the first three bands, which I’m sure gave an unfair advantage to them. Anyway, during the show we, joined by several others, did an abstract, squawky cover of “Over the Rainbow,” had punk rock dancers we had to eject from the stage, and upon the lowering of the curtain about 12 minutes before our time was up, I had the foresight to yell, “Throw your change at us!” thus affirming the Perpetual Elvis Machine’s origins as money-grubbing whores, and bypassing the moronic judging system, netting us about eight bucks of sweet shiny silver. As the curtain was gliding shut, Jake and I took it on ourselves to start distributing things from what I believe was a bag of plastic crap, cheesy paraphernalia and the like, to the obvious displeasure of the administration. Them’s was the days.

Later on, during the year after high school, 1999-2000, we recorded our first album, God Bless Militant Imperialism, and then our second, Songs About Cats, Yo, after moving to Arcata, 2000-2001. Those are up on the site, and I believe speak for themselves. Although I will give special mention to my epic ballad about my pet pumpkin, Algernon. Which is titled, of course, “The Ballad of Algernon.” And yes, that is a reference to “Flowers for Algernon.” Sort of.

As a parting shot, here’s our press bio, which can be found on our official website:

We are the perpetual elvis machine (CAPITALZE). yOUR ARE Not. This is not to say yuo are a ad person (U’re a bd persoNe) but rather therfore ergo you (thepronoun in Question) are not us.
we Are allthingsconcidered less dangerous THan “A bag of GLASS”wellmaybe too 2 bags Of GLaSS (ONfire)

bROWnIe PERPEetuaL eLVis REcipe MAchine

2 eggs
1/2 jar marshmallow creme
1 box nails
4 quantities love
%^ brownie mix
3.5 pirouettes
2 eggs
1/4 cup water
30 lbs. anti-brownie mix
2 eggs
4 eggs

Well see they play songsabout good natured things.

list of shows:

march ‘99 ————————————————-
—————————–
————————-
BattlE of the bahnds
6th of 6. high school. nihilistic noise rendition “over the rainbow”. Intended duration: 15 minutes. Acutal duration: 3 minutes. Disqualification. Curtain. Apparently you can’t ask your audience to throw change at you.

june’00.whoops ‘00

Kasey Gallagers (pool) empty. you probablyD ON;T know him. but he’s cool.

Cap’n Inconspicuous (multi-instrumentalist) cuts hand on guitar bleeds on guitar. anonymous Josh (multi-instrumentalist) vomits through harmonica holder. Guest keyboardist does bitchin’ weedwacker solo.

April ‘00
HIgh school preSents : Rock for rocks sake you sod. Perpetual ELV1ss machine not in highscool told you can play when th bands are done.

july ‘99
free show to benift greg. we received no proceedes youDonT k now GreG.

Oct ‘((99

PLaayed in Front OF a GoROcher4y store. audience enthralled believe you me

Lyrical sample:

“”(sung to the tune of no wait .” “perpetual elvis machine. BESTEST BaNd YOU’ve ever seen.
“

Sample Leric “my ail mEnt isnot caused byA Malicious neCRomAncer, IBlame BaskinROBBiNS $ for my testicular cancer”

seelisten the Machine dontcall us that isfriendly guys. they tend to like CertiAn things. kittens catsyouname it (cake) they like it. if you like thinGs theres no tellin’ but You might Liike THemif u give ‘em achance or maybee too wait 2

ReCIPE perPEtual vEgan elvis brOWNie machine

4 quantities love
80 gallons water
2 eggs (optional)
5 books Scientology