Gray Matter Kimmie

Say, comrades, during the excruciating process of moving, I found a list Jake and I made about 7 years ago. I tried to upload it.
I don’t know if it’ll work, but even if it does, the scan is largely illegible so here’s the transcript, if you will:
Things to Invent
TV directly in brain
Sleep-floss
Spray-on tooth enamel
Self-eating […]

I keep trying to post this as a reply to the Garrett’s question on the other entry and it doesn’t work. So, anyway, no one took me up on my offer, which, for the record, was:
“Chimerical snot rocketeer seeks rancid butt slave for razzle-dazzle. Inquire within.”
Apparently no one likes a crazy-pants.