Gray Matter Kimmie

Say, comrades, during the excruciating process of moving, I found a list Jake and I made about 7 years ago. I tried to upload it.

I don’t know if it’ll work, but even if it does, the scan is largely illegible so here’s the transcript, if you will:

Things to Invent

TV directly in brain
Sleep-floss
Spray-on tooth enamel
Self-eating plant
24-string guitar
Minivan with morphine IV for kids
Sterilization ray gun
Bel-Biv-Devoe flavored Hostess cake
Car that runs on feces
Meatflavored motorized slurpie that runs on bullets
Underwear that gives oral sex
Smart-alecky robot sidekick
Electric clothes (plug in to wall)
Bomb that only kills VJs
a carbonated slap in the face
Underwear that gives enemas (old person target audience, as useful as metamusel.

My personal favorite is Jake’s “bomb that only kills VJs,” although “car that runs on feces” is pretty good. What the hell, these are mostly solid ideas. Get inventing, jerks.