Review # 124: Hairapy guys
Friday, September 29th, 2006
If I was a few years younger and not so secure in my masculinity, these stupid faggots would make me ashamed of being a homosexual. But I am, so they don’t. And I would totally do Micah.

If I was a few years younger and not so secure in my masculinity, these stupid faggots would make me ashamed of being a homosexual. But I am, so they don’t. And I would totally do Micah.

This morning I realized that I almost certainly have a drinking problem. Vowing not to drink for two weeks, I’ve been sitting around all day bored out of my mind. Not even new comics and soap operas have entertained me. I’m pretty sure all the drinking I’ve done latley has sucked any creativness right out of me. Luckily, a friend sent me to this blog, Joe Mathlete Explains Today’s Marmaduke wich in and of itself needs no explanation. This is one of the funnest things that I’ve come across this week. Others include the SciFi museum and Stephanie teaching me how to ride her motorcycle (I look pretty stupid
).

On the way home tonight I got totally wasted, choked both of my roommates to death and then shaved my head. I would not recomend doing this unless you have a good reason. And if you do, make sure you have plenty of water and food. Hangovers are a bitch.

I was right about the food/water. No hangover. But I am exhausted and look pretty good.


Oh, man. Hoew could I not have reviewed these befroe? They arew the best cheap beer wiht out resorting to Steel Resercve or other malt liquoer . But im sure everty fucking body knows that.
Tonight around 11pm I was sitting at the bus stop coming home from work. I was bummed because I was losing my buzz from the beer I’d had and didn’t have any matches to light my single-stick cigarette (trying to quit again or at least cut WAY back). Suddenly I hear a comotion and look up. What do I see but a group of about twenty guys running through the intersection all in their underpants. As if this wasn’t cool enough, a couple were actually wearing briefs.
On the outside I had my usual stoic, aloof expression, not even looking like “what the hell…?” On the inside, however, I was championing the human spirit as well as the fact that for a lot of young men a rite of passage usually includes removing their pants in public.
A few minutes later, they ran back.
A side note: I feel I’ve been puting a lot of karma points in latley. One of my horoscopes today said:”Today, you see how the energy you put out is coming back to you. Get ready for a profound sense of fullness, of reward.” I don’t feel that this is my reward because none of the guys were very big or hairy. And had they been, I’m sure none would’ve come over and given me a blowjob. I’m not complaining, I’m just saying….
Steph thought I should put a picture of the bike up. I thought it was a moped and was going to make some crack about how I know she’s a girl but it’s no excuse to do things half-assed. She swears it’s not a moped because you don’t have to pedal it. She trailed off saying “But it’s an automatic clutch, so it’s not like a real motorcycle…” Fucked if I know.
No words can express the rage and contempt for human life I feel right now.
Every time I’ve ever suggested using fly paper, the idea gets shot down. I’ve done it before, It’s simple. You tack it up, they stick to it, in about two days they’re done. Not being able to reproduce the fly problem is nil. But all I hear is “Eww.yuck..That’s digusting! I don’t want that around here!” Call me nutso, but I’d rather put up with some yucky tape for two days and throw it out than suffer an indefinite period of time futilely swatting at the vermin while they crawl freely over every conceivable surface of my home.


-These are WELL over three years old.
-They cost about $30 at Payless Shoe Source
-The tread is still good, lasting longer than any boots I’ve had before them.
-There are big holes where the toes bend. This is the only reason I need new ones, with the rain (hopefully) coming.
-They make me look taller.
-I will be looking for the same kind. I know where a Payless is, but I’m broke until next week.