INKSTAND

I thought of this review at work today, forgetting that my last review was phone related. Must be something in the air today.
Cell phones have not only created a means for people to get distracted while driving, as well as annoy others in public, they also give people a new excuse to stop working all together.

I’m often asked by friends and relatives, “Why haven’t you called me in a while?” I’ve even had a good friend get extremley angry at me because I haven’t been returning messages of his (that I never got). Anyway, I know now why I don’t call these people. I absolutley hate talking on the phone. Anything longer than a few minutes, and I start getting anxious, banging on things, rolling my eyes, not paying attention to what they’re saying. It’s just…blech. My mom goes on about what’s happening with the family, a lot I’ve heard already. My best friend is a master at spewing out incoherent nonsense and yelling at me when I don’t respond, sometimes lasting for hours.
Maybe if I wrote them all more letters, I wouldn’t have to call them.

It was a big, cheap cut, but it had been marinating all day. It was good, even if it did set off the smoke alarm at a quarter to four am. It’s made my stomach feel a little better, but I’m sure I’ll still feel like shit when I wake up.

I bought a DV camcorder today because I had a little extra money. Naturaly a “little extra” means I can afford the bottom of the line. No prob, I’m easy to please. The problem lies in the fact that i need a firewire port on my PC to edit videos, but I don’t have one. Stephanie has a Macbook wich has a dv port standard, so I can just use hers until I get one to install.
The still image camera is better than the one I’ve been using (also extremley cheap) in both lighting and focus, but as far as resolution goes, it kind of sucks (see Hawkman photos in Review #101). I’m pleased with the purchase overall. I’ve wanted a camcorder ever since I let my brother take my VHS-C to Mexico and I never saw it again.
Interestingly, I’m going to take a picture of this with my older camera.

I stopped buying action figures a long time ago because all you can do with them is display them. Seeing as how the space around me does not allow for excessive decor, I had to quit. I only buy some once in a while if they are especially cool. I recently thought about how cool Hawkman looks, eventhough I don’t know much about his character. Apparently all he can do is fly, with the aid of wings at that. But he does carry around a cool mace as a weapon and his hawk helmet looks meat-rippingly evil awesome.


The action figure looks really bad ass, and I was impressed with the wingspan. However the weight of the wings is uneven and it’s hard to pose them in any cool way. you just have to do it in a way that he doesn’t fall over. Also most depictions of Hawkman have a hairless chest, like this one. I read a comic a little while ago and his chest was covered in hair and it was really hot. Also it looks like he has lipstick on. eww.

-This review was going to be a lot longer, a big production, but today I’m sluggish from drinking/bowling last night and I really just want to get this shit done.
-For a movie about dancing, I thought there’s be more dancing.
-I’m sure glad I’m not the guy who had to clean up all the glitter in the last scene.

-Right after Ren does that horrendous spasm of a dance in the barn or whatever, Ariel comes up to him and asks: “Why don’t you like me?” Maybe it’s because you’ve been a HUGE BITCH to him the entire movie!
-All in all here’s how I saw this movie:



-Here’s the first attempt I made at a review. I’m not happy with it, but I did it and dammit, I’m gonna use it:
When I was up to about review # 93, Garrett asked me if I had anything planned for review #100. I said no, and that I would just do whatever happened to come next. About this time I also requested the movie Footloose from the library. My friend Nate, for reasons known only to him, really loves this movie. My intention was to watch the movie and back up my arguments that the movie is a piece of shit. Yesterday, in a turn of events that only the cosmos can deal out, I finished review #99 and the movie arrived at the library. Once these two things happened, I knew what had to be done. So let’s get crackin’.
The hard part is where to start, so why not the beginning? The opening title sequence depicts various pairs of feet just dancing to the theme song written by that no-talent, 80’s-soundtrack-dominating hack Kenny Loggins. Every song I’ve heard from this guy (Danger Zone, I’m All Right, Footloose) has made my skin crawl. The dancing feet is kind of a cool effect especially how they’re all doing something different, but the framing of it made me sea sick after a few minutes. The tight shot of all these shaking, swaying, bouncing, stepping feet made me a little nauseous.
So the movie starts with preacher John Lithgow ranting about the sin and depravity that Rock and Roll music brings to the youth. At this point I start imagining “Footloose: 10 Years Later.” At this point, all the kids are hooked on various drugs, committing crimes, and have a shitload of barefoot kids. I digress… After church the preacher is introduced to Ren McKormick, the new kid in town who has moved in with his aunt and uncle. The first thing Lithgow does is introduce this kid to his teenaged daughter, Ariel. He must not have noticed Ren’s skinny, loose neck tie, a sure sign of youth culture and relaxed morals.
It’s nice to see that some things never change. In the 80’s, just like now, teenagers are played by twenty somethings. Anywho, right after church Ariel goes out with her friends and we learn something about her. She’s totally fucking insane. Hop out of my friend’s car and into my boyfriend’s moving truck while we drive head on towards a semi? Sure. Anything for a thrill. Now, in a town where rock music is outlawed, I’m wondering why it’s not drawn to anyone’s attention that this boy, Chuck or something, has a huge ghetto blaster on the back of his bench seat.

Ren’s after church experience, however, is not so thrilling. He’s visiting with the town folk who want to ban Slaughterhouse Five from schools based solely on the book’s name. When Ren says it’s a great book everyone looks at him like he has little beady eyes, messy hair, flared nostrils and ugly teeth. The book bashing continues later at dinner when Ren’s little cousin calls him a “fox.” Her dad says: “See what those kinds of music and books are teaching them?” I want to know what kind of books that little five year old is reading.
Now comes a very poignant scene in the movie. Ariel and her friends as well as all the kids in town are at the drive in. Ariel puts a tape into the stereo and everyone within earshot starts to groove. I was surprised because I though Ren, who has yet to dance, was going to teach them all moves as well as lessons in life, but they all know how to dance already. So Lithgow rolls up and spoils the party. As he turns the stereo off, we see a new spin on the record-scratching, dish-breaking, tire-screeching scene stopper. Instead of those I mentioned we hear a GAME OVER sound from an arcade machine. I think it was Pac Man. The Rev takes it pretty easy on his daughter, although he’s understandably hurt.
Jesus I’ve spent too much time on this, and I haven’t even gotten to the first day of school yet. I’m summarizing, not reviewing. Okay, down to brass tacks.
I just don’t understand the conflict here. So, a long time ago some kids, including the preacher’s son, got drunk, raced some cars and died. This led to an outlaw of drinking, rock music and dancing. I’m no physicist, but the cause and effect here makes no damn sense. The kids still drink, still listen to rock music, but the one thing they shy away from is dancing. Why? Probably because dancing is stupid.

-This Footloose is much cooler:

I needed something to put my computer on since it’s been sitting on the floor. Unfortunatley I don’t have room in my bedroom for a desk. This thing is nice because it’s not too big, and with Steph’s help (i have no knack for interior design) I think it’ll fit in nicely.
-Found with “free” sign across the street.
-Sturdy, but not too heavy.
-Wheels make it easy to roll around.
-A keyboard drawer would’ve been nice.
-Mad props to Tony for helping me lug this up to my apartment in the middle of the night.
-It’s the same dark wood grain color as everything else in my apartment.

I bought this at Dollar Plus, wich means everything costs a little more than a dollar. This huge bottle of shampoo cost about $1.29. There is still quite a bit left. I did some vague math and realized that by the time I’m done with it the bottle will have lasted me over a YEAR!
-”Eww..You’ve been using dollar store shampoo for over a year?”
-What can I say? I’m low maintenence.

-Tasty!
-It’s as good as any other hummus in a tub, and the roasted garlic flavor adds flavorful character.
-I’ll be eating this spread on hamburger buns for lunch today.
-I don’t remember how much it was, but it wasn’t a bad price for a big 16oz tub.

-Natasha Henstridge can’t act
-IceCube can’t do “serious.”
-Unmistakably John Carpenter
-That guy from Snatch breaths real heavy
-Pam Grier is an expendable lesbo.
-When the group of about 14 people escape, they turn around for no apparent reason, go back, fight monsters and all get killed.
-The guy from Revenge of the Nerds’ decapitation is pretty cool.