Review#162: Superman Returns (2006)
Jesus, this movie sucked. Halfway through I thought it could be good, but the ending was atrocious. The inclusion of a super-kid made me hate the world. Not even Parker Posey could have saved this movie, a misfortune that depleats my faith in mankind.
Kevin Spacey could have made a good Lex Luthor if he was more evil and less goofy. The guy who played Superman (I’m not going to learn his name because I’m sure it will never be used commonly by the celebrity-watching public) might have been good if he was older and didn’t look so sad all the time. Frank Langells might have made a good Perry White if he actually had a part in the movie.
The worst parts were 1) Lois Lane married to someone else and 2) Superman having spawned a child. Both of these things go against a certain fundamental lore that Superman has, and that’s not me just being a comic purist. This pertains to any version of tv show, cartoon, movie, anything. It’s like if you told the story of Jesus, but in this one, he’s not the son of God.