INKSTAND

The copy on the box reads: “Cookies so soft…they taste like they’re right from the oven.” There are several things wrong with both this claim and that copy. First of all, I don’t know why there is an ellipsis in there. If words were ommited they certainly wouldn’t want to inform the public of that, and there seems to be no need for a pause at that point in the sentence. Also, there is actually a period at the end on the box. I WOULD say, “Hey it’s advertising, you need an exclamation point!” However, I suppose the implied pause by the aforementioned ellipsis reduces the need for excitment.

So, away from the grammar and on to the cookies. Yes, they are soft, I’ll give them that but I’ll be damned if that makes me think they are “right from the oven.” I have three reasons. First of all, they are not soft enough. When you grab a cookie right from the oven it breaks in half because it’s still stuck to the cookie sheet. Secondly, They are not warm. They are room temperature at best. And lastly, there is something about these cookies that I have always thought. It must be the preservatives in them, but I always said they taste like rat poison. Of course I don’t know what rat poison tastes like, but that’s the first thing that popped into my head. I think I was in high school when I first thought that. That chemically, packaged, gross taste is in every bite. Sometimes I see these cookies and want that grossness, and that’s why I still buy them. But only because it’s a lot easier to find small packages of these than Chewy Chips Ahoy.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 9th, 2007 at 11:55 pm and is filed under food. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.