INKSTAND

This is a great song on it’s own and is more than likely to get stuck in your head. This video, however, is a huge let-down. First of all, don’t you think someone who was a satripper would be a little more…active? Why did he stop stripping, did he become paraplegic? It starts out promising with all this leather unbuckling and unzipping and such hottness, but quickly cools down and delivers rather boring visuals. About halfway through, the dude strokes some mechanical lever, it’s suggestive and fun but that’s it. Like a drop of water in the desert.
There’s a lyric “Tips in my g-string/Made my living.” At the end we see the stripping close ups again and when the pants actualy come off, is there a g-string? No, some baggy boxers that leave way too much to the imagination. We do get to see a hairy chest,though, that’s nice.
I will continue to listen to this song and am glad that I got to see the video at all, but I probably won’t watch the video again.

Someone left this bag at our store. It’s from a company in Portland, OR, Patty Reed Designs. It’s one of their line of bags called an “insta-tote” because it is collapsable, yet durable. As far as the design on it goes, well, the new girl and I were talking to two different people at the same time about this bag someone left and we each ended our sentence, almost in unison, “It’s hideous.”

I like the combination of black white and red, but it can’t save this design. I’ve never been a fan of the tiny polka dots and they really strain the image here, making my eyes hurt and my brain work too hard. Also, the type says “…girlfriends…” The women pictured hardly seem like friends and I would expect one to tear the other’s eyes out if she wore the same dress as her.

While this is as deep as my critique went, Rachel, the girl at work, developed a great hatred for the bag. She dearly wanted to rip it apart and destroy it. I prevented this, not wanting to have to explain it to a customer who might come to claim the bag. “Sorry, miss, our checker went ferral on it.”

Before last week I had never heard an entire Britney Spears album. I know a few of the singles, but not all of them, and even found myself liking and listening to “Toxic” a lot. Other than that I don’t know much about what she sounds like.
Well, if what they are saying is true, that this album sounds like a Britney album, and a good one at that, I have absolutley no interest in hearing another Britney album ever.

The first three tracks are the best. We have “Gimmie More,” which debuted during her infamous VMA performance this year, “Piece of Me,” a fun song that explores the tabloid obsession with Ms. Spears, and “Radar,” a catchy little pop tune. These songs at least have some aesthetic value to me. My favorite is “Piece”, even though it’s flawed. She says “Mrs. She’s too big now she’s too thin,” saying this is one way the tabloids describe her. Honey, I don’t recall anyone ever saying you were too thin. She also uses the word “derriere” which makes her sound like a 60-year-old, and uses a singular form of “magazine” when she should be saying “magazines.”

After that the whole album is crap. I can’t even enjoy the last song that is sung to K Fed in an ironic way. Every song is crammed with so many sounds and vocal effects that I couldnt tell and/or didn’t care what was going on in the song. Chaos in music is not something I frown upon, but everything layered on top of cheap unoriginal chord progressions and unispired lyrics left me sour. I understand that vocal effects are just part of the industry but it was to the point that I didn’t know if she was singing with a dude or if they warped her voice to sound like a man. I also am of the school of thought that lyrics in pop and rock songs don’t really matter, but sometimes they are so bad that they grate on me. This is one of those times. I just don’t like how that album makes me feel.

I don’t want to waste too much energy on this since I might have to do so debating the album with my good friend Jake who loves it.

If this music is sugar, I think I’m in diabetic shock. I need a shot of rock and roll insulin.

This review is for the Queering the Apparatus Queer Film Blog-A-Thon.
In my experience, Don Roos’s comedy, The Opposite of Sex, rarely shows up in discussions of gay cinema. However if it’s not about comic books and/or Passions I’m not well versed in it so I’m probably just not paying attention. It may pass under the radar because the biggest stars at the time of its release were Christina Ricci and Lisa Kudrow, both playing straight characters. That’s not to downplay Martin Donovan’s performance, but at the time Friends was in it’s hay day and Ricci hadn’t yet started looking like a creepy alien. It also doesn’t have a lot to do with many gay social issues but mainly the lives of these specific people. It might be because it has little or no eroticism in it, especially for a movie with the word “sex” in the title. The sexiest it gets is when Ivan Sergei’s character is swimming, right before Ricci’s character seduces him.

So what is this movie about? Basically a young woman Dede Truitt (Ricci) who runs away from her mom’s house to her half-brother’s house and causes trouble for everyone she comes across. She steals her brother’s boyfriend (Ivan Sergei), her brother’s dead boyfriend’s ashes (Collin Ferguson), extorts her bother for money a couple of times with the aid of the boyfriend (Sergei) and his ex (Johnny Galecki). Kudrow plays the sister of the dead boyfriend, commonly referred to as “Tom the dead guy” by Dede who is narrating the movie. There’s a lot of scandal, one-liners and road trips.
I am now going into bullet mode. This helps me out when I have points to make but can’t organize them into paragraphs.
What was cool
- The one liners are great in this movie, from “Teachers need to learn, no means no…at least until we’ve dropped out,” to “There are a lot nicer people coming up. We call them losers.” A lot of these quotes can be found here.
- The best lines are delivered by Kudrow. Her portrayal of an exasperated woman with pent up frustration that must be let out because of the arrival of this trouble maker is thoroughly entertaining. She’s one of those people who complains all the time, but it’s fun because she’s mostly only complaining about Dede and not you.
- Dede says at the beginning, through narration, “I don’t have a heart of gold and I don’t get one later.” It’s so true, she plays a skeezy, scheming bitch the whole time. It’s great!
- Donavan’s character, Bill, delivers a small speech that had quite an effect on me when I first saw this film. Check out this video, about 2:30 into it.

What was lame
-Lyle Lovett’s performance was very difficult to watch. The man cannot act. I feel he was thrown in there only as a romantic interest for Kudrow’s character so everyone could have a happy ending.
-The last seconds of the movie leave us wondering if Dede did, in fact, grow a heart of gold. I like to think she didn’t.

I sure wish this was more thought out and stuff, but it’s getting so close to midnight. I have to post it now! At least I did this instead of homework. Come back for more reviews of stuff and maybe a more thought-out edition of this one.

This stuff is weird and kinda gross. I know Im not supposed to expect ice cream, and I didn’t, but I did not like what I got. The mist disappointing thing was that the cookie pieces were puffy balls of tasteless nothing. The all-natural, non-dairy dessert tasted more like pumpkin pie than vanilla or ginger. I’m thinking that came from the spices and flavorings they used to try to emulate a gingersnap flavor. The flavor that was delivered was unappealing and vague.
I was also disturbed by it’s consistency. It was fine right out of the freezer, but I left it out for a long time and it didn’t even have the decency to melt. It was still solid, if only a little crumbly.
Stick to dairy. And Jake says: “Soy Dream ain’t so bad.”