INKSTAND

I can’t believe it took me so long to do this one. Bacon Salt is great, I love it! I’ve been puting it in my scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, on steak, popcorn, and vegetables. It’s the best, it really is. When trying to imagine what it tastes like, one should think “Bacos-salt” because, well, it tastes a lot like bacon-substitute topping, Bacos, mixed with salt. It doesn’t taste exactly like bacon but enough to make you get your bacon fix. That does not deter this delightful condiment from taking it’s place among the awesome things of this world. You shouldn’t have trouble finding Bacon Salt, because it’s been popping up everywhere. If you can’t find it, their website lists retailers who carry it. I have only tried the original flavor as of yet, but I will soon sample the other two flavors, hickory and peppered. They make a natural kind, who’s list of ingredients is dramaticaly shorter, but I won’t try that because I don’t really care what I’m puting into my body.
A special thanks to Mike and Janice for turning me on to this life-affirming product.

It seems that in an effort to satirize right-wing scare tactics against the Obama campaign, cartoonist Barry Blitt pissed off a lot of people. I am not one of those people. However, while I don’t agree that the New Yorker cover was offensive or tasteless, I do agree that the artisit failed miserably at communicating his concept to the public. Rather than looking like a parody of views and ideas Obama’s opponents are trying to convey about him, it seemed more like an illustration of those ideas, a propagandized exaggeration of the views of someone who doesn’t like Obama.

This is a prime example of why The New Yorker should just have the adorable Adrian Tomine do all of their covers. His covers evoke emotions similar to that of hearing a neighbor child’s goldfish has died.

I didn’t see the 2003 Ang Lee Hulk movie. Well, I did, but you know the old story. I was wasted. Or fell asleep. Or both. But it’s well know that this is not a sequel to that movie. That being said, I’m very glad that they decided to forgo the whole “origin story” with this movie. They show some of it, but just during the opening credits, catching us up, but sparing us from hearing yet another rendition of a well-known song.

I’m going to cut to the chase. What interests me most about this movie is it’s part in the build-up to the Avengers movie, planned for summer of 2011. I read that there are plans for a Iron Man sequel and a Thor movie in 2010 and a Captain America and Avengers movie in 2011.(most of this is confirmed on IMDB) The Iron Man movie that came out earlier this year seemed like a set up for something else, especially since the only real bad guy was a geezer with a similar weapon. Of course this is true since after the credits we see Sgt. Nick Fury of S.H.E.I.L.D. approach Tony Stark about the Avengers Initiative. Similarly, at the end of Incredible Hulk, Stark comes to General Ross about forming a team.
What I’m having a problem with is the continuity in which these films are taking place. We have regular continuity and “Ultimate Marvel” continuity. Nick Fury looking like Samuel L. Jackson (and thus played by SLJ) is from Ultimate, however the term “Intiative” is from regular continuty, a team that was formed after the recent Civil War. Also, Tony Stark revealing his identity to the public is from regular continuity, but Bruce Banner becoming the Hulk while trying to re-create a super soldier serum (this is foreshadowing to Captain America, BTW) is from Ultimate.
Ok, so I’ve strayed waaaay far from reviewing this movie (It was good, if you like action movies/comics, you’ll dig it). I guess what I want to know about is Thor. I LOVED the idea of Ultimate Thor. He was a beer-swilling hippie that everyone thought was crazy and delusional, and his brother Loki, god of mischief and trickery, convinced everyone he was just a loony human with a super-suit and got him locked up. Is that gonna be the Thor movie? And the Avengers…What other Avengers will be on the team? The incestuous brother/sister team of Qucksilver and Scarlet Witch from Ultimate? Vision, the robot from regular continuity? Which form will Henry Pym take? Giant Man, Ant Man, Yellow Jacket? Who’s the villain? Skrulls? Red Skull?

ok, i’ve gone on enough. All my questions will soon be answered. Now check out this awesome Hulk Theme song from the 60’s. That, along with the others, tells with frying-pan-over-the-head obviousness that Stan “The Man” Lee was still runnin the House of Ideas when those were made. Who else would ryme “gamma rays” with “unglamorous.”

I don’t know what happened, I must have just slept wrong, but this morning my neck and shoulders were fucking killing me. I was able to get through my day as long as I kept moving. If I stayed in one spot too long I would have time to think about the pain and that was no good. At about 7 o’clock at work I decided I had to try something other than Excedrine and ibuprofen, neither of which were working. I went to the shelf and picked up the Bengay patch. After buying it I noticed that it had expired a year ago. I got my money back, opened the box and put it on. Yeah, like this stuff expires. The only good that does is get me my shit for free.
Bengay is the same principal as Icy Hot. First it’s cold, then it’s hot, at least that’s what the package of this product claimed. It even says right on the front “deep, penetrating heat.” Before I get to how inaccurate that claim is, let me tell you how difficult it was to put on. The thing is slinky and slimy like a…a…I don’t know, but it ain’t natural. It sticks just fine, but if you move it bunches and creeps and crawls around, making the already difficult chore of reaching my own back even more difficult. I had to bare my back to the lovely Julia, a 16-year-old bagger and one of my angels, so that she could assist me.
Oh, I felt the cold part. That was fine. I thought, “oh, good, it’s working.” Sadly, it never got past the cold part. I didn’t get the “deep, penetrating heat” I desperately needed. Now I’m at home, shirtless, having rubbed myself down with Tiger Balm which seems to be doing the same “cold but not hot” thing. I’m having a beer, but I seriously doubt that will help at all. I would give my left nut for a joint right now.
If you can help it, skip the patch and go straight for the smelly balm stuff. Preferably Icy Hot.