INKSTAND

Been bowling tonight, ergo, I’m drunk. Bring on the bullets!:
-The scene(s) where River is whaling on the Reavers is probably one of my favorite scenes in a movie, ever.
-I thought there was no way that a 2 hour movie could satisfy my curiosity after finishing the Firefly series, mostly thinking of Shepard Book’s mysterious past. I was wrong. The movie basically told the audience, by telling Mal (Captain Reynolds), “No, you’re never going to know.” They at least addressed it, wich suits me fine.
-There is a cool site that has Serenity acted out with paper puppets. Click here to see it. Click here to see why I couldn’t see it until I had seen Serenity.
-Finally someone made a show about Space Cowboys. Man, that’s awesome.
-The characters are too good. I think Whedon’s characters (in general) may have sparked the beginning of my inability to distinguish fantasy from reality. However, no one on this show was better than Anya.
-The theme song to the series was REALLY bad. I hated it.
-The Jaynestown episode was SO stupid. If there’s a stand alone episode about Jayne, they could have made it not suck so bad. I suppose he was suposed to learn a lesson in it, but that would fundamentaly change his character. And, just like the theme song, the epic folk song about him sucks. Goddam mud people can’t write a song to save their lives.
-Still drunk, want to move on. Maybe I’ll add more later.
-Watch this. NOW!

Woo-Hoo! We got a good one! This makes up for that Lance Bass thing. We also got that adorable guy from Grey’s Anatomy (a show I don’t watch), but this is more significant to me because way back when Doogie Howser was on, he was the first guy I ever had a crush on. Of course I didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back it makes total sense.
For the whole story go here.

I know some of you who know me are thinking “But neither of these guys have beards.” Hey, I break type once in a while.

A few people now have told me that I should see this show. Today I finally got around to renting the 2003 miniseries. What can I say? Damn, this is good shit.
I’ve heard a few of the homosexual geeks I tend to cavort with fawning over that Apollo guy. I have to disagree and say that the hottest guy on the show is the rarely seen Capt. Kelly.

I also like how their sheets of paper don’t have corners. Anyone privy as to why this is? I have to stay away from researching this nit-picky knowledge to avoid spoilers. So don’t tell me if the corners of a sheet of paper are a huge part of the plot later on.

Every once in a while I catch SNL and am shortly after reminded of why I no longer watch it. Fortunatley tonight that reminder came in the monologue, right at the beginning. I did not know who the man doing stand-up was, but my guess was that he was the winner of Last Comic Standing. Either that or someone who was made famous for some other reason, but wanted to do a comic routine for his mono. Apparently Dane Cook, who is the lead in a new movie, Employee of the Month, co-starring Jessica Simpson, actually makes his living as a comedian and has even had an HBO special. This baffles me becasue he was not the slightest bit funny.
He started on how negative people like to gossip and how they love company and stuff. I am a negative person and he must have meant negative people who are negative for attention, not negative people who actually hate others and don’t want attention. I am not offended by this because I’m sure no one will remember his set. I mean the audience was only kind of politley laughing. He also went on the humorously describe how negative people describe another’s suicide. That’s fine with me, just make it funny.
He did get one laugh out of me in a joke involving California driving laws. But it’s not funny enough for me to go into.
And sometimes he acts really gay.
It looks like Cook will be in the new Transformers movie to be released next year. It’s also being directed by Michael Bay. With this combo, I’m sure another of my childhood memories will be shat upon.
Update:I told my friend Nate about this review and he said that Dane Cook was really funny and he liked him a lot. I’m rethinking being friends with him.

I don’t remember when The State went off the air. I DO remember wanting to watch their Halloween special on CBS one year, but my mom wanted to watch something else. Five years ago I was fortunate enough to purchase every episode off of eBay for $80! I have no idea where those tapes are now. After The State, sopme of the gang got together for Viva Variety on Comedy Central which was based on a State sketch. It wasn’t nearly as good.

A few years ago, a glimmer of hope began to shine as Reno 911 started on Comedy Central. They now have three seasons on DVD. Not having cable I don’t know if they are still airing original episodes but I sure as fuck hope so. If they can’t bring me stuff I liked from the 90’s like The State, 120 Minutes and Hibernia Beach (this refers to a local San Francisco gay radio call-in show on the modern rock station before they sold out their original programming for Howard Stern and Loveline), at least I have this. And it makes me happy.
I’ve always had a thing for Tom Lennon, who I always suspected is the brains behind this comedy team. He and Kerri Kenney are an unbeatable team. Now Lennon plays a gay cop in short shorts. Woo-Hoo! The rest of the cast is damn perfect. If you don’t like this show it must be because you don’t like this brand of humor, not that the actors are doing a bad job. Most of the scenes have a large amount of improvising and one of the features on the DVD is long uncut scenes of these improvisations. The actors keep it up for about 15 minutes proving their professional might. Im not making sense anymore.


And they like to throw around the “N word”.

Yes, I watch a couple soap operas, but no, I don’t think anyone on any of them is “hot.” However, a new actor has replaced one of the characters on Passions and I have to say he is reasonably cute. He’s a decent actor and is also able to emulate that awful fucking accent the other guy had. I don’t even know where he’s supposed to be from…England, Australia? who the hell knows? The problem is that the Passions website says nothing about a new actor so this may just be temporary.

One of my earliest reviews was for the phone sex ads they show on network tv, and I rated them rather well. However, the one exeption are the ones aimed at me. Honestly the thought of touching one of these guys makes me want to ralph, blow chunks, hurl. I’m wierd, I guess.

Note: If you thought there was a review of pot here before, you were probably high.

I find serial killers interesting. Perhaps it’s because they are a factor that is just randomly floating about the world. Odds are, you and I WON’T be killed by a serial killer, but the fact that it is a real possibility, just like getting in a car crash, is intriguing. So I watched this History Channel show I got from the library about Vincent Bugliosi, the prosecutor in the Charles Manson case and author of Helter Skelter, the true crime book about the murders.
The show was only an hour long so I didn’t expect it to get too in-depth which it didn’t, but it touched on all the important aspects and interested me enough to see the movie Helter Skelter. If I wasn’t so lazy I’d say I’d read the book, but…
There were some real photos of the crimes which I think were made a bit fuzzy to hide the gore, and some re-enacted photos that were seemingly historically accurate. The actors in some dramatic re-enactments were funny, especially Charlie on acid.
If I had cable I would probably watch this show, which showcases different true crime writers, if nothing else was on.

It had Stan wearing these pilot goggles saying “please let me do this one thing just this once” and the Randy yells and smashes his head into a china cabinet. Good stuff.

Since I don’t have cable I watch TV with the bunny ears. South Park comes on at eleven, then comes Drew Carry, Becker, Cosby, then by 2:00, Girlfriends is on. This show is syndicated now, that’s how I watch it, but I didn’t know it was still in primetime. Apparnetly it is.
So these two friends are fighting, something horrible happens to one of them, and they build up to them forgiving each other. At first they make light of the suffering of the one, but then get really melodramatic at the end, with a church and a choir and a big if-you-cant-forgive-me-maybe-jesus-will deal. This show is a soap opera with a laugh track.
Will I watch it again?…as long as I’m staying up until 3 am.