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Fauna Polly

Shouldn’t We Be Getting Stabbed?

1. Saturday
2. Swimming
3. A Girl’s Eye
4. Autumn
5. Man’s Buried Heart
6. Astoria
7. Her Favorite Song
8. Winter(live)
9. Like A Cat
10. Brown Recluse
11. Unhappy last year

Jeez, has it really been since Novemember 9th that I last posted? I’m so ashamed.

Alright, so here’s my obligatory excuse: Besides the fact that I have a well-documentated case of “the lazies”, I’ve been spending a large part of my time attending this years SuperComputing Conference here in Seattle. My boss bought the whole company technical passes for lectures and panel discussions on a whole range of grid computing solutions and I got a chance to geek out and explore a completely foreign world.

I was really fascinated by all the the problems people are finding, and even more so – the great lengths they will go to in an attempt to solve them. I could have spent months there and would have still walked away feeling like an ameatur – but I still felt I learned a lot.

There were presentations on things like Nanotechnology, Bioinformatics, a history of animation/video rendering presented by Disney, and even one on some of the burgeoning horizons in FORTRAN (not so burgeoning). One guy managed to talk for an hour and a half about the power and compexity of just one of his algorithms, which consequently allowed me to get a better look at the insides of my eyelids.

I’m really thankful that I got to listen live to all these lectures (even though a lot of it flew many leagues above my head). The whole thing was quite exciting – I mean, I was listening to speakers from Intel, Sun Microsystems, Globus, Cray, even Bill Gates (I’ll get to that in a minute). And from what I can gather this is going to be a major deal pretty soon and the industry is seriously considering making a push into parallel computing.

Naturally, there were a few things that really bothered me. I can handle listening to people discuss their far out ideas on the magic of quantum computers, or the benefits of simulating amino acids to help in medicine, or large scale grids helping to chart predictions of large weather storms. Nothing about them seems explicitly harmful, though if I wanted to be critical I could think of some things to ask. For instance, isn’t it a little strange that there was just so much talk about how we’ll be able to predict weather. It seemed kind of dishonest that this was primary example used over and over as proof positive of the benefits of grid technology. I know that we just had the whole Katrina fiasco, but other than that, who really cares about the weather? Where are all the discussions on the military uses of this technology?
Plus, alot of these supposed problems with wierd new diseases and global warming symptoms reminds me of an anecdote about medievel monks who used to try and figure out how many angels could balance on the head of a needle; it’s not that computational chemsitry isn’t worth researching, but there are more pressing matters of the moment and if we look to those instead, all of our “problems” wont’ be so overwhelming.

These kinds of discussions were not the most gut-wrenching though. I remember watching a Boeing presentation with penguins (??) showing that supercomputing can solve problems of Defense and Homeland Security while also figuring out how to make potato chips more aerodynamic (I’m not making that up). This was one of the only references to the military that I saw the entire weekend, and while there was plenty of talk about how Pringles are reaping the benefits of grid computing – the military implications were very quickly glossed over.

Perhaps the most infuriating talk for me featured a professor from USC, who did a presentation on the science behind video games. Apparently this is the same guy who made “America’s Army”, the military recruiting game that “instills the values of the armed forces” and/or teaches you to kill brown people. I did not hestitate to give him my really ugly stare, which I think he noticed.

America’s Army seems like pampers compared to his next big project. Check this out: he quite proudly admitted his involvement in this new “headband” technology that will be coming out within the next two years and it apparently can map which part of a child’s brain is currently being stimulated. These devices can be made very cheaply (under 50 bucks) and can be sync’d up with “educational” software designed to monitor if a student is “learning something new”, “relearning”, “frustrated” etc – and hence respond with suitable course materials in real time.

I don’t have the direct quote, but Mr. Z’s reasons that this technology arose out of a problem with too many children who can no longer concentrate on human teachers, having been overstimulated with video games. What we need, according to Mr. Z, is to find a solution to this problem by totally catering to the child’s fried neurons.

This theme just kept hitting me over and over again – using a quasi-solution on a symptom of a much larger problem, whether or not it would cause EVEN MORE PROBLEMS.

This guy’s presenation really fucking creeped me out. When someone stood up and asked why he had no ethics classes in his course requirements he said that those kinds of issues are outside the scope of knowledge he is introducing, and better left to parents to instill. I swear I saw his forked tongue flicker at this moment.

Which reminds me: One of the last days of the conference, I got up extra early just so I could catch a glimpse of Bill Gates keynote speech. I wanted to be within breathing distance of the richest man in the world and see if I could suck up some of his divine aura. When we reached the clearance gates I noticed the throngs of folks trying to get in and suddenly the rush of people came to a halt.

My boss and I stood in line totally perplexed and the buzz starting going around that the main auditorium was full. My boss, a diehard Mac guy, was not in the slightest miffed by the ordeal – so when guards finally agreed to squeeze in a few more people he touched my shoulder and said “go for it kid. If I can’t make it in, go without me.” It was a pretty dramatic scene, like something right out of Schindler’s List.

The funny thing is – I WAS THE LAST ONE THEY LET THROUGH, so I got to do the whole turn around in slow motion and watch the security guards push everyone back as my boss slipped away into the crowd.

But it didn’t end so triumphantly. Eventually they everyone in, only they put them in these side rooms that were suspciously already set up with chairs and huge projectors. I may be wrong but it makes me think it was some sort of publicity stunt to make Mr. Gates appear more popular. His speech wasn’t especially thrilling and I couldn’t believe I had to sit there and view him through a giant screen and not meet his eye in a huge public lecture hall.

That’s when I felt it the strongest – I put my feet up on a chair and drank the complimentary coffee and looked at all these people staring at their laptops and only fringely listening to the speech – and got a chill.

What exactly are we all working towards here?

More tales of woe from the world of craigslist. Does anyone mind that I keep posting these pity-party rejection letters? Oh well, I’m going to do it anyway. I think that it’s a pretty ridiculous endeavor and hopefully it will offer a different perspective than something like Junior Varsity Meat Market, which usually leaves a bad taste in my mouth. (For the record: I think that site is funny,but just a little too mean.)

So to begin, here’s my first rejection letter of the morning:

well i dont want to be rude by any means.. but i cant see that we have a lot in common- except the grocery store thing..
im sorry.. you might just be a little bit more advanced in things like me.. like your vocabulary… i wasnt even quite sure what some of those things were..
but thanks for your response!

And here’s the second one in my inbox:

I wanted to say thank you for such a thoughtful and transparent email response. If was very refreshing as compared to say …..this:

“I am not even going to pretend to be worthy to go out with you or pretend to
be what you are looking for. In fact, I would feel lucky just to be used by
you. That being said… will you please use me? As pathetic as this
sounds, I will pay you for a coffee date. I will also do anything you say.
If you tell me meet you at the mall and buy you a new pair of shoes, I will.
I would feel lucky a woman as pretty as you let me spent time with her,
even if it was just to use me. Of if you would want to meet for coffee, I
would pay you for your time. Bring a girlfriend if you want, for safety. I
have humiliated myself before by paying a woman for a coffee date, so I
don’t mind doing something this desperate and pitiful.

thank you.”

So again…thank you! I am however, going to continue my search for someone A. Closer to my age (try as I might, I’m not Demi Moore) B. Someone closer in proximity to me, or with a more reliable mode of transportation.

Keep on Beard rockin in the USA! :::snicker:::

Alright, so those were actually pretty good rejection letters. For all intensive purposes I didn’t do half bad. Things could have been worse, yadda yadda. Yeah, I thought the same thing, and if it weren’t for this letter I probably wouldn’t even bother sharing this ordeal:

Thank you so much for your email. I enjoyed reading your writing very much. I said I would respond to everyone and it is taking me a bit of time so here is my response to you. Though I enjoyed your email I am going to have to pass. I don’t think there would be enough of a physical attraction for it to work out. I hope that I haven’t offended you in anyway and good luck.

Jesus Christ! OF COURSE you offended me! Did she really feel that “obligated” to write me back just to say that she found me repulsive? Was that really necessary?

But really, I won’t be bitter about it- and there’s no need for consoling because I’m taking it all in stride. Instead of exacting revenge (at least entirely by myself) I’m going to put this matter into your hands. It would really warm my heart if you guys voted on which of these three letters I should have my mom respond to. Included in your vote, please briefly state some ideas for how my dear old mom should frame her response.

Here’s the problem, as defined by Tim.

“Part of me also wonders whether the increasing exposure and acceptance of so much of conspiracy theory has also contributed to a lot of it becoming kind of stale and boring. People seem to be not so much uncovering new facts, or trying out bold new interpretations to explain events, so much as filling in the gaps of now long-standing belief systems. I mean, I haven’t really heard a new conspiracy theory in a long time that really knocked my socks off and made me re-evaluate everything that I held to be true about the world. Whereas, early this year and before that, I’d happen across one of those every couple weeks. Something truly earth-shattering, you know?

Here’s a quote that Kylark uses, which sounds like an awful good solution:

” I love time out of mind. I love it when empirical reality blurs and the magickal reality gets superimposed over everything. In my reality art and creativity is the only desire and we glide silently through darkened dripping futuristic urban wastelands on fixed-gear fighter jet bicycles and we fight the forces of oppression and evil with our magic and improvised weapons.”

And lastly, here is the implementation of how this is already beginning to manifest itself in the world. According to JK, David Lynch is trying to promote Transcendental Meditation and says that for him, it makes ““the world looks better, people look better.”

I just got done watching one of the early episodes of Twin Peaks right before finding JK’s post. Like Tim’s observation, in my fourth viewing of the show I’ve noticed just how unphased I am by the darkness, the power of the ultraterrestrials and the various forms of evil in this world. I’m beginning to question the motives behind presenting this worldview and glamorizing it. In fact, one could argue that the show ends on kind of a defeated note – perhaps like Tim notes “focusing on other people’s power tends to diminish your own. ”

I still think it’s a worthwhile show, but maybe it’s time we move on from those dark waters and really emphasize the magic that is possible when we are willing to believe eachother, and just totally open ourselves to crazy ideas. Fuck, even David Lynch can find beauty in this world!!

My next post will be about some of my recent occurrences with JK that I think emphasize this point.

JK and I have been indulging in Second Life a little bit; for those who don’t know SL is a virtual reality environment where all the objects are fully interactive, and anyone can own land and create things from scratch. It’s just starting out, so the possiblities are still quite open.
However, the sad thing I’ve seen is that the online world mostly revolves around commerce. Since people pay to play and their real money is converted in to “Linden” dollars – the main thrust of the environment is to find a way to do accumulate these fake funds, which can be traded back in for real life currency. Supposedly there are people subsisting on this as a form of legitimate income.

Naturally, two obnoxious effects spring out of this:
1. TONS OF ADVERTISING EVERYWHERE.
2. TONS OF SEX EVERYWHERE.

So it’s my hope to find a way to subvert the premise that second life is based upon, and to somehow orchestrate a virtual salvation. Either something secretive and hidden that spreads like a soul-virus, or maybe something more public like getting everyone together to try to levitate Governor Linden’s giant estate.

My first job was to procure some land and to set up a Palm Tree Garden, which you can see here:



It seemed like a relatively nice spot, though it was hard to know exactly what it would look like cause when I made my decision it was still dark “outside”. The thing I didn’t know until I had purchased my new plot is that MY NEW LAND IS UNDERWATER. Which is funny, because it makes me a “fish”.

So things are starting to be quite mystical already – that is, when I’m not too busy trying to fend off JK from trying to make out with me:

Here’s something wierd: just this morning Jeremy found this picture on the Propaghandi website (since we’re both going to their Seattle show later this month). On the front of the website is a portrait of a fellow that bears a very striking resemblance to my second life character. So what’s the deal, is my second life avatar starting to appear in my real life?

This is just fucking ridiculous. I must be trying to connect dots where there are just chips in the paint. But here’s a dream from the 19th of October:

“Dreamt last night that I was living inside of my SECOND LIFE and that I was being attacked by miniature people. “Minature” is relative in this sense because we’re talking about a video game – but to be more specific, this was probably an allusion to the Army of Darkness that I had fallen asleep to. Perhaps the strangest aspect had to be waking up to my computer speakers going haywire (they do that whenever a cellphone get’s a call) – but no one was calling. Was there some negative force in both the electrical lines and my subconscious mind? How do these two planes of nonreality relate?”

Yes. Where does my my waking life and my dreaming life and my second life and my no life meet?

In this case it’s true. I’m procrastinating hardcore right now, and whereas I should be trying to put a dent in my 50,000 word novel due by the 30th of this month, I’d thought I share a couple of photo’s I’ve been meaning to post instead.

First, a silly little story. About two weeks ago I was chasing around my roommate Hilary with the book “Communion” by Whitley Strieber. She’s been having a rough time with ghosts and spectres in our house, (she’s says a pervy spirit mumbled something to her in our downstairs bathroom) and I told her that the thing that helped me the most was actually confronting all of those same things that keep her up at night. For me, the thing that brought me the most relief was finally crackinf open this 80’s classic UFO novel. Ever since I was very young I had found the image quite troubling. I mean, look at it!!

She didn’t sound very interested in my technique, which was fine – but on a whim I actually started chasing her up and down the stairs with the book in front of me and her screaming and trying to avert her eyes. I know, I’m a jerk – but it was all in good fun, I swear.

Anway, the karma came back to me pretty quickly and I got a dose of my own medicine. As her last defense she picked up her astronomy book and used it to swipe away at my hands – and in the commotion I noticed the picture on the cover. It stopped me dead in my alien-face chasing tracks.

I instantly stepped back and took a breath. Is that Philip K. Dick’s VALIS sattelite on the cover? You’ve got to be kidding me!? What are the chances that it would appear at that moment – other than to relay a message and shield poor Hilary from my insensitive attack?

I couldn’t believe it: so I told Hilary that I though the cover of HER book was creepy, and she said matter of factly, “yeah, I know. That face is so wierd!”

Which confused the hell of out me. “Face? FACE?! ”

That’s when she points out the ghostly profile on the cover.