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I’m back from my trip to the Deep South and our trek across the country. I’ve got some great video footage to share within the next week, but it will take me a few days to get it edited. In the meantime, here’s I poem I wrote somewhere in the middle of the country.

Oklahoma Poem

Skin brushed, roused and rough
and to the touch, consoled
and doled out in tiny squares
a steak chopped on the plate
white collared greens, candida
safely alive in between teeth.

lawrence of arabia and a camel toe firmly imprinted
in sand; forever embossed and forever changing
in the sands of sahara
or the great plains and tall.

We are undying, ungoading, unfoiled,
spoiled rotten and forgotten
boiled and baked, sunny side up,
charred and barred from loving solid
mass, and the density of each eucharist
becomes the transfiguration of transubstantiation
a mutilation of the morose figure

jesus, the wheat king, enslaving our endorphins
to a grain cult love sport. Each of us target
tumbling torpedo tossed and touched on the
altar by papal bulls and too many rules.

Can we kiss the ring and swing and sing
like massacred motions of loco lotions
tossed aside by airport security? Why worry
that freedom isn’t free if all our pockets have been
emptied?

Where is the metal detector of our mind?
Our body is 70 percent liquid, but that’s
getting too close to, yes, there’s no place
like home,

like Oklahoma.

——

Here’s another one I found in my notebook:

weather-ford and fortune fivehundred
manicured mastiff mountain head massachusetts
moby dick denver dandelion dolemite dalmation
managed master too late bait create the crevice
of cancer cockamamie motor mayhem mink drink
drive deem tattle tale lay awake shake and bake
mental deviance delete dent the can rang and ring
rung and dung, sung and fun too many syllables
short and shiny, shutdown and crumby, crank
and shank, jail cell bell and southern lovin’
last late limp lipid languid viscosity, vicarious
and loving it. I am alive and in charge, a barge
floating as if the sky is the limit, boxed in, travel size
plaid and sad, have said, too much, lost on, all of us.
The tv is on, the tv is off. We pull out our pockets,
we give our portraits in lockets, we hold them close
to our chest, we drive in the dark out to the west.
I followed a pair of footprints that ended in the ocean.

Amber and I touched down yesterday morning, and we’ll be spending the next couple of days chilling in Athens, GA. In case you were on the edge of your seats worrying that some terrorist yielding a jar of Noxema had taken out the plane, you can rest assured that we made it safely. However, we did have to endure a “security breach” once we got on the
airliner.

We were sitting next to the emergency exit and this Arab looking guy came and sat down next to us. He took off his shoes and chatted on his cellphone and I let all those stupid implanted racial profiling thoughts take their leave from my consciousness. But then, just as I got use to the smell of his feet, the stewardess asked him to get up in this very serious tone, and escorted him off the plane.

We all sat there for an hour, rather quiet, except for the occasional completely off-base speculation from the passengers nearby.Eventually, a policeman came on board and stalked back to the restrooms. Lots of other drama ensued like trying to determine if “the suspect” had left any baggage on board, and whether or not this guy that was in the bathroom was one of his cohorts, etc.

We never really did figure out what went down, because of course they wouldn’t want to put our mind at ease and explain the situation to their beloved customers. But they did make everyone get off the plane so they could “thoroughly” check it ( for like fifteen minutes) . Some people said they saw the dude get on with a bottle of water, and this is what we assume the whole ordeal was based off of. Unfortunately for the world we live in, this story makes the most sense to me.

But we’re here now, and Georgia is fantastic. Athens is a peach. Except for the humidity, (which, I believe makes “everyone looks like they just got finished having sex”), this town is fantastic. Very green, but a darker green than Seattle. There is this wonderful parasitic vine growing over everything, that’s called kudzu.

I’ll try and take some photo’s of it and post them in a few days.

My favorite thing I’ve got to do so far is talk to people and get their own personal Michael Stipe story. (In case you didn’t know, R.E.M. was based out of here, and he apparently shows up at events all the time). Most of these stories from Amber’s old friends involve a guy they know getting propositioned to pose in their underwear for the lead singer.

It’s an interesting little culture; half indie rock glitz and half football injected frat. Apparently there is an entire condominium rented out during football season, and a few years ago when the team lost one of the games, the crowd pulled out the goal post and dragged it down the streets of Athens, trampling and killing a young girl. From what I can tell, there are two sides of the street, and these two groups (rockers and jockers) occasionally get into Outsiders (greasers vrs soc’s) style gang fights.

Now this is living. To be continued …

I’ve been pretty insanely busy with work and so have been trying to delegate jobs to other people. It’s starting to work out quite nicely – Jake and Amber have begun handling all of the shows at the house, and finally, after years of resistance, my friends are making their own little spaces here at Boont Dusties.com.

In case you haven’t noticed, each of the new websites are based off of words taken from Boontling. Read this for more information about the origins of harpin’ boont (speaking boonville lingo) and what we’re all doing here.

1. Inkstand : Phil does reviews of things. Inkstand translates to : “Hemorrhoids. In a Boonter anecdote, a local worker is said to have been observed trying to observe his anus in a mirror after a few days of strenous physical labor. He explained his actions matter-of-factly by saying he wanted to see how many “ink stands” he had on his ose. He appears to have been referring to protruding hemorroids.” It is also “..an allusion to the flared mouth of early day ink stands (bottle)” and can be taken to mean “… exhausted. Very tired. When one is exhausted from hard work, his anus is said to protrude like such a bottle neck. ”

2. Charlie-Walker : My mom writes about her job as a bug trapper, gives advice, and will post her pictures of us while our tribe went to highschool. Charlie Walker means “A photograph; a snapshot. [ A county photographer named Charlie Walker was a much sought-after early-day artist]”

3. Big Sorry Jake is going to do a photo blog as soon as he stops shooting smack. Big Sorry means “A Boonter who felt sorry for himself and often expressed his melancholy publicly”.

NEW!

4. Gray Matter Kimmie : Josh has already started (Eat shit Jake!). He plans on posting his comic series “Vinny The Ninja” and acting as a resident brain. Gray Matter Kimmie means “A scholar; a colllage professor”. This is kind of eery cause I remember back in highschool Josh Rhodes declared himself a “Rhodes Scholar” and would give you a degree in things like “gun repair” for a measly buck or two. He would even give you a certificate if I remember right.

5. Wessup Tweed : Amber is my girlfriend. According to her blog, she says “You will possibly see photography series, musical musings, amateur film snippets, magical discussions about the realm of the unknown, a “found goods” museum of sorts, what I made for dinner last night, maybe projects about American culture, and anything else that might be worth preserving and sharing. Oh, and you’ll probably see lots of hands.” Wessup Tweed means : “A flower child”.

6. Beejay : I’m bugging Landon day in and day out to start a blog cause I think it’s going to be hilarious. I have given him an ultimatum, and if he doesn’t start writing I am going to just write on it pretending to be him and baring my disguised-as-Landon soul. Beejay means : ” To repeat oneself; to repeat a phrase or last part of a phrase almost imperceptibly ‘under one’s breath’.

7. Applehead : Jake’s first girlfriend, Rachel, is one of the most “interesting” people I know. I can’t wait to see what she’ll write about – probably something concerning all the odd jobs she takes, being seduced by the actual prince of darkness himself, and/or sex. Applehead means : “A girl, esp one’s girl friend. [This is rooted in an incident in which someone used the term derisively to refer to a Boonter's girl friend who allegedly had a noticeably small head.]”

There is also now a blog on the main page — http://www.boontdusties.com – which I am trying to set up as the main portal. From that spot you will be able to access all of the new blogs and hopefully immediately be able to tell when someone has updated (that way you won’t have to bookmark and click on each and everyone).

I’ve changed the name of this blog from “Boont Dustie” to “Wood Dog” which means “A gun shy dog. [Reference to the fact that such a dog flees into the 'woods' at the first rifle report.] Boonters had no use for such dogs, so they abandoned or destroyed them.” I think that fits well with my extreme paranoia.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by. I am going to sit down now and edit the wedding of Josh and Bethany last weekend. And in a week Amber and I are going to be traveling to Georgia and across the country, so check out her blog for updates on that.

Peace out homies.